Your advice, fellow adopters, would be much appreciated. I'm struggling to get my head around a problem that has cropped up in our family over the last few months...
We moved our two eldest daughter's (aged 7 & 6) bedroom downstairs. They seemed happy to move, liked the decoration and enjoy sharing a room. Since moving them we have periodically noticed that food has gone missing. When I say food, it is mostly sweets, chocolates and biscuits. We don't have much in the house but at certain times, Easter, birthdays and Christmas time we, like most families, stock up!
We spoke to our post adoption social worker about this and she felt that it was most likely due to our daughters past (lack of consistent meals) and it was a learnt survival behaviour that perhaps during times of stress she would demonstrate. Fine! I can understand that and carry bags of empathy for a child who has not known where or what their next meal will be and why should they trust the next set of adults who come along? However, our daughter has been with us for nearly two years and of course my husband and I (and other family members and friends) have fed her three meals a day, not to mention all the treats and snacks in between. Before living with us she enjoyed the same routine for two years in foster care. So why does she still feel the need to take whatever grabs her fancy? We have tried talking to her about the issue but she closes down and is not able to answer. I have tried to monitor the situation and can not find a link between changes, hunger, anxiety, stress, good or bad days.
Our Social Worker suggested leaving out some food for our daughter to eat in the morning when she woke so she would not have to wait for us to give her breakfast. I left an apple (a fruit she enjoys) on the kitchen worktop and told her to help herself if she so desired. The following morning I came down to find her eating the apple. As I went to pour her cereal she went to throw the apple in the bin. This led me to believe that she is not taking food due to hunger as surely she would have wanted to finish the apple before beginning her cereal. Later on that same morning I found that she had taken some Skittles which were on the side. Again, this guided my thoughts to her wanting certain foods rather than her being hungry.During the rest of the day she will usually choose healthy items for pudding, i.e. an apple or grapes, rather than the cake or sweets that the other children ask for. Yet the food she is stealing is always junk food.
The reason I am writing this now is because despite our best efforts and involving our social worker she is still taking items that she shouldn't be. I would welcome help from adopters or professionals who have experienced the same or similar and have found a way to help their children.