Friday, 18 September 2015

Back to it...

In my last blog I wrote how our social worker is currently completing an assessment of need as we are looking to work with a psychologist for support around secondary trauma and parenting three adopted children. It has been two months since I posted that blog and we are still waiting, as it has taken our worker weeks to complete the report due to annual leave, a busy schedule and the difficulty of getting hold of a local psychologist who is willing and able to take on the work. Hopefully, next week we should hear back from the Adoption Support Fund with an answer on whether they will fund the work or not. If we get the green light then we have an appointment penciled in for later on in the month.

I keep going over the meeting in my head. My husband and I sitting next to each other whilst our social worker and the psychologist sit opposite us. I have already planned on cleaning the house before they arrive to make a good impression. You would have thought I would have relaxed by now, three years on from having social workers visit and assessing us - but obviously not! I can picture me detailing the key points from the last few years and then our social worker politely, professionally and gently interjecting and clarifying the points I am trying to make. After I have spilled my innermost thoughts I am hoping that she will hold all the answers and be able to repair the strain that hangs heavy most days between my husband and I with our daughters. I am not afraid of hard work, but thinking of what we may be asked to do to work towards improvement fills me with dread, and if I am asked to do any more Theraplay, I think I may just be sick!

Last week the girls started back at school. I am pleased to report that they appeared to have settled into their new classes well and are liking their teachers and are with their friends. Our youngest diamond started attending school full time on Wednesday. She has taken starting school in her stride and is coming home happy and is especially chuffed with having hot dinners and a pudding!

I'm not going to pretend that I'm upset that my youngest daughter is now in full time education. I wish I was one of these parents who stood at the classroom door with tears in their eyes, missing their child whilst watching the clock, willing time to fly by. But I'm not! I am relieved, a burden has been lifted, I can feel a sense of freedom and I plan to enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I want the best for her, I want her to be settled and to do well at school - but the pressure that was on our relationship has been lifted as the time that we are spending together has been reduced.

Life for me has once again changed, my routine has been altered. I am currently trying to re-adjust my daily activities. I am juggling spending time with my little sapphire (which I love), whilst attending play groups, catching up with friends, cleaning the house and maintaining my self care. I feel like this time is special and to be treasured. It's a fresh start, new beginnings and I am hopeful things will improve as we seek help and continue as a family to build on our relationships.